Everybody Loves To Hate. (Me too!)

I hate the present.

I love the past.

I am scared of the future.



Presently, I am not happy with my life.

In the past, I am happy with my life.

Towards the future, I am unsure how my life's going to unravel.



I miss you, my old self in the past.



I am happiest in my Sec Schl years. Ofcourse I have my difficulties just like any normal teens, I have times when going to school was not by choice. I have problems with friends before. But Never, NEVER have I given up on myself because of it / worse, hating myself.



But that's exactly how I am feeling.
Inadequate.
Hopeless.
Empty.
How am I suppose to pick myself up?

Friends are all I have left. But where are they?
Those closest to me are the greatest disappointment. I wouldn't feel sad if my casual friends don't bother about me. But my closest friends, those I would give everything if they need me, where are they? They might be physically here, but inside I know they don't care. Actually, they were never around no more.

I really can't describe how they let me down. It's not my place to judge. I don't want to be called ungrateful. Yes, I am thankful that they still ask occasionally. But to help/ just to care, no. This make me helpless. This is what makes me wanna leave.

Oh gosh, I really wanna leave. I hate this.
All of this.

Please end this.