"And when the stars are gone I'm all torn up inside.."
It's a super rainy day today... It's been raining since yesterday night non-stop...
I wanted to run but I don't think I will be able to..
It's only been a week back here but it's as if I have been trough..
I reach at Changi Airport at the East and I travel all the way back to NTU at the far West..
Then I went to work on Monday to Admiralty at the North..
Wednesday I stayed at the Marina Bay Sands at the Central..
This whole week has been full of travelling here and there..
I guess I got a taste of running around and how it feels..
Quite the opposite from the life of being cooped up at NTU for the pas semesters..
I got used to travelling to Admiralty and I kind of like it there..
But it's no surprise that when things are going well, there's always somthing that will spoil it..
And that it the fact that I have to move to Yishun...
Life's seriously a joke to me..
I hate singapore so damn much I might just lose my sanity hereee.
12 years too long.. WAY to long..
Looking for an escape.. Even if it's a fir exit I will gladly take it..

This constant feeling of sadness never leave me but I feel cheered up most of the time when I have good company.

Double hike this week on Sunday & yesterday.
It was loads of fun.. the scenery couldn't be more breathtaking and that's why I love my hometown so much.
Went through tea plantations and I could stand there for a while staring at the greens.
=)

I am feeling very vacant right now..
Unappreciated, built up anger..
Where to go from here?
Aimless.

"Take what you want fom me... It means nothing now, take everything..."

Just like a blink of the eye it is the 14th of January, just a week left of my precious holiday...
It's my brother's birthday today and I was hoping to do something and give him something but I just can't find anything at all..

This anhedonic period has stretched for quite a long time..
3 weeks and I will be in danger of being diagnosed as depressed.

I want to travel but I never quite made it there.
And now life has lost it sparks..
I regret the 42km and I feel like backing out from it..
I don't want to go for IA, don't want to travel so far everyday..
I don't want I don't want I don't want..
There's nothing I want..
I don't want to shop, I don't want to eat, I don't want to do anything and I don't know why...

It's the new year of 2011!!!
This time round, I barely feel anything...
No excitement, no resolution, nothing.
It was just another night..
However, this year is the year I have friends to accompany me for the countdown!!
The first time I (so-called) organise a bbq event which went great..
Simple, but great..
Even if the food was simple and the meat was as I fear it; difficult to chew, it was a fun night!!
Then we watched FREE fireworks from my balcony..
You can totally catch a sea of fireworks bursting from all parts of the city and we're on the middle ground watching it.
And what is so great is that we can also watch those from the higher parts since we're in the middle.
I love my home, absolutely, totally and without a doubt. haha.
And what's more great is I have a group of friends to share it with this year and that's enough..
I forget all my depression for a moment there.

That's how I spent my new year..

Next was an event that happen yesterday on msn.
This guy is irritating the hell out of me..
He just remind me of all the weird people around me and it got me more depress thinking WHY are all those around me like this.
Judging others here and there without thinking of taking a step back and looking in the mirror.
Don't insult me like you know me okay?
你不配！！！
GOt me really pissed off..
Ask for my opinion and when I give it you get angry..
WTH...
Keep complaining about others..
Think you are perfect? NO!
And why you don't know is because you refuse to take criticism but you give it as if you're an expert.
Please, I am not the shallow one.
What you are is a frog in a well looking out at that tiny hole above your head thinking you know it all...

DAMN PISSED!