Another Rollercoaster Ride...

Emotionally that is.. On Monday I feel neutral. Took MC for the first time after a longgg long time.. HAHA, coz I don't want to exert myself too much pressure anymore. Actually, maybe I can still force myself to go to work.. However, I decided to grant myself a day of rest. On Tuesday I feel so happy. Coz I thought I was going to Wisma alone but my fren accompanied me!! So happy.. Then we have dinner and it was nice too. =) Anw, I was so relieved that my laptop is going to get repaired. One week without laptop!! But still, glad enough that it'll get fixed! hahaha Wednesday I feel okay, though dinner with frens wasn't very nice.=( Thursday was when I feel a bit pissed. Now it's Fridayyy!!! Can't wait to go off work.! Hopefully the weekend will cheer me upp.. But I doubt it.. Tomorrow's phototaking should be another disaster. =(

Sometimes I really feel like I am invisible. Like I am just a particle floating around the atmosphere amongst the people without them realising my existence. Indodinner made me realise this. I feel like noone really took notice because I never join their events for the past 2 years. But somehow I expected those people who know me to at least notice me. Hmm, maybe they did and I'm asking for too much? I don't know. I really like to be the center of attention sometimes (to be honest). =p I also realise friends don't last forever. I met this girl in GL that has similar demeanor with Edwina. And when I realise this I start to miss her so bad.. Those 2 years we sat beside each other. We were inseparable. Going to cell group and church together. I managed to stayed there because of her and Novi. Yet both of them led so different lives compared to mine now. Both seem so glamorous. And yes, they are both attached to awesome guys. Sigh, I never have such luck when it comes to romance. So I shall continue waiting... Meanwhile, I took my first MC in like 5+Years. I remember my last MC was probably in Primary School. Secondary School I don't think so. Hmmm.. Ya, and stupidly I alrd got ready this morning. Reached Pioneer MRT when I realise I am really to sick today. Ahhhh, EMO!

It's time to put some effort to go after what I want.

But usually when I say this, my motivation will become 0.

NOt the other way round. HAHA.

1. I am going to run the 42 km alone. As I told myself countless times...

This is a once in a lifetime experience coz I'll be joining such marathon only this one time.

Not the timing, is the experience of running 42km. Just make sure I don't faint or anything coz I'm alone. Must know my limit but yet must push myself to run as much as I can.

So pressure off. Just try and train as much as I can. =)

2. I want to go to Australia, America or Europe. Want to travel, and it's time to get my efforts up. Must make the visa. No matter how troublesome. =)

Maybe add some more later. =p

Shopaholic.

I am turning into a shopaholic! hahaha.

And I'm feeling buyer's remorse now.

Coz I just bought a pair of 10cm high heels!

When will I ever wear them?

But again, I like it a lot!!

Think for hours on end and in the end just buy the thing.

Is it still on impulse?

My friend thinks that since I think about it for so long, must as well buy.

Haha.

Okay, I must start to save on food!!

Eat canteen food everyday is good =).

The money shall be used to shop more.

=O

My pay is going to be gone too.

Can't wait for the 7th next month coz I'll wait till then to get my watch!

Saw quite a few that I like today.. =D

PROVOCATION

Over this week I receive some serious aggravation from few people around me.

Angry, Angry, Angry.

I maybe having my PMS again.

Just seem very easily irritated lately.

Sunday incident still got my blood all boiled up.

Then I got scolded today just because I never put a bigger beaker in the vacuum machine.

She made it sound as if I am sooo stupid.

That I should have use my common sense.

Then she keep saying that my glue is overflowing "badly"

When it's actually just the size of a smaller 50cents coin.

When I was cleaning the machine she scold me yet.

Sigh.

Feel very unappreciated.

I failed my viscosity test today too..

VERY SAD.

=(

Coz it proves that I am indeed dumb.

Made a mess of the glueee.=(

hiks..

Then that stupid evil matthew backstab me to my supervisor.

Just because the first week of IA he asked about my family and I answer in 1 sentence.

That one sentence is so powerful that he can use it to answer a totally unrelated question by my supervisor.

Does me being quiet towards my supervisor have anything to do with my family?

no LINK whatsoever.!

And he knows I don't talk to my supervisor coz I find her a bit mean to me.

She doesn't smile and she doesn't talk to me. I DID TOLD HIM THAT.

So why can't he just say the truth?

Don't get this kind of people...

Not only that, he told my sup that since I got attached to emmd I so happy don't want to come back.

But hey, you know what? He was absent on Wednesday and who took the pass and went to the rooftop to collect the numerous samples?

I did not take the pictures but so what? I did like 50% of the work.

Then Thursday I washed 10 new mirror grade SS for him.

This is what I mean when people don't appreciate me at all.

You don't thank me is perfectly fine, it's my job. I got paid too.

But need you say such things about me behind my back.

Sigh, sad sad sad..

Then that Cahyadi still dare to sms me "Dear friends, who wants to run sunday morning?" I wanted to say "Friend? You sent wrongly, I am not your friend. I don't have such inconsiderate and rude friend."

But I did not do that. Just never reply him.

Shall meditate and forget about this unhappiness.

And focus on more important things.

Like this is week 9!

Oh wow! and I still got 5 days of leave!

^_^

Usually when I set my mind up on something I will go through with it even if I complain incessantly along the way. Now I consider backing down.

Today's incident really burns me up..

Where in the world did I find such a rude friend?

Inconsiderate much?

Last week was late, alright, still understandable.

This week? It cost me one precious sunday and I am FUMING!

I wake up at 5:50AM for goodness sake.!!!!!!!!!

It is earlier than when I wake up normally for work.

I went to the bus stop to wait for the first bus at 6:30am!!!!!

Coz we were supposed to meet up in Pioneer at 6:45.

And guess what? Bus came at 6:40am and he called me up saying the weather seems bad, let's cancel.

WTH!!!!!

I never encounter a fren cancelling on me like this before....

It is so inconsiderate and rude!

Anw, I came back and I couldn't sleep. Thanks to stupid ass!

So it brings me back to the think I want to do.

I am contemplating of just giving it up coz of this person.

If I can find another person to help me train I might still go.

GAHH! too angry.. and now my head hurts and I have nothing to do. =(

Lonely Day.

I cleaned my room today!

Then I accompany HL to the NTU Open House.

Took a tour around SBS tutorial rooms and labs.

One of the computer room is the one that I went to take my Life Science CA in year1.

I even accompany him to the SBS talk in LT1.

OMG, LT1!! Been months since I sat there...

After that he went home coz his frens are coming over to his place to celebrate his b'day which is tomorrow.

Then I was in JP alone after he's gone.

Walked around and it was so crowded!!!

I felt very lonely out of a sudden.

I guess it's because I got so used to having company around me that now I feel like this.

In the past I find it fun to walk around by myself but since IA I haven't been out on my own.

Then I tried to find company and I can't find one. HUUUU..

So sadd...

And now I am in my room alone again! =(

Wanted to run but lazy... -_-

Getting more and more lazy to run.

I want to be prettier!!

I somehow feel I look hideous lately.

Maybe the number one reason is my complexion.

Pimples and scars! GAHH!

Anw, I want to shoppp!! Don't care.

I want a new watch! =D

A dark cloud has settled over my head...

I had another terrible day coz I cried at work!

So embarrassing!!!!!

I just burst out in the lab like that in front of them.

I went to the back and before he left Alvin came and talk to me..

He was very nice coz at least he keeps asking me why I was so upset..

I know that I have been complaining incessantly about my work especially to my fellow IAs.

I hate that I keep ranting on and on every lunchtime about how I have nothing to do.

But I just have to get it out coz I normally just speaks my mind to my friends..

Anw, after lunch JL said she talked to SM (My supervisor), she said I can go to other labs to learn stuff if my lab is free.

But SM keeps asking JL why I don't want to go Yishun..

SM said there's more things for me to learn there.

But I have said so clearly that

1. It is much further.

2. There's nothing to do there too.

3. I will be all alone there, isolated from everyone.

I think my reasons make sense.

And I don't know why she is out to make my life miserable.

Sigh.

I am afraid she'll come and talk to me tomorrow. =(

Friday doesn't cheer me this weekk..

This 2 days have been a true torture for me. I cannot believe how unlucky I am.

No matter how optimistic I try to be, I can't.

Coz it's just too sad..

PLUS, I HATE YOU!! How can a person be so inconsiderate and rude. I don't know why I tolerate with this attitude before. And now still tolerating it. Be nice to people and they think I'm gullible enough to be treated without respect.. GAHH~!

My mood's critically bad!!!!

What should I do I don't know... sobs.