SchOol Pics! =D

Ta-daaaa.. This is 1T20!! My Tutorial Class in CJC =D I like this pic even though I don't quite like the class. Hehe, do you know what the girls are posing? We are showing our Register No. ^_^...










Hee, This is the best class in the world. Although I don't quite like this pis compared to the above one, I love this one 7000x!!! =) We're trying to look ''dao'' if you must know. Not quite the glamourous pose that show our best features I'm afraid. =p



This is my Pri Schl class photo in Bandung. Altho I didn't have many good memories in this school (more bad ones), but I do feel happy looking at this photo. Haha, I look unhappy huh?

Just For Fun.

This is the Perfume I use to wear all the time.=)

Lovely 13.

This should be my last post before I return to my hometown tomorrow.
Was happy that I went out with Y today! I miss him so much, he reminds me how good it is to have a friend. Honestly forgot how it felt. =( YEah, D disappoints me yet again. It's getting old, the old excuses, the refusal to make an effort. I feel like I've had enough. I'm so willing to make sacrifice & yet she won't even make an effort to just meet me halfway. Sigh. That's life, people always change.

Anyway, on a happier note, was so happy meeting Y!!! Went to Coffee Bean(Taka) at 3p.m. Been craving for the ice-blended mocha. Yumm, finally satisfied =D Anw, so we chatted, and then we went to Paragon's Sushi Tei wand ate there. It felt so good to share food with him. Somehow I feel comfortable doing that because usually I don't like to share because I feel weird. =D Then before we left, we saw this woman at the front, she was apparently scolding the waiter who is in charge in ushering people to their seats. The main problem I think is that she was told to wait for 1/2 an hour and she finds it unacceptable. She even mentioned that she has a bar and how it'll never do that to a customer blablabla. She was very fierce. If I was at that waiter's shoe, I would've bawled. Y don't believe me somehow. =) ehehe..

Yeah, walked Y to the bus-stop as I was so full. Need to exercise, getting so fat!! >_< Anw, learned a lot today from Y's experience. Really enjoy the time spent hanging out with him today. THANKS again. =D

P.S: Thanks for doing the test for me S, Md A. ('',)

FOR>>Best Friends, Good Friends, All of my Friends..=)

Create your own Friend Test here

Fave Things Part II

Continuation...
4. TEDDY.. (NAME: VINY)
Hehehe..This was given on my b'day when I was in Sec 1 (2002). It's so memorable! So CUTE right? Was given by A ehm*... =p Ya.. Was so happy that day. When I think of it I get VERY nostalgic. But I think it's only on my part, I bet he can't even remember VINY alrd. This is so sad. Haha. It's ok. Maybe remind him when I meet him again...which is...when?!?! Always so busy blablabla.. Hehe. >_<

5. My Dear Ipod Video (30GB).

My eldest bro gave me 8250 while my 2nd bro gave me this last year. I don't know how that happen btw. It was my last day in Bdg and was leaving for Sg the next day. I know he asked my father for some money to buy me an MP3. He paid for 1/2 which is alrd a LOT. Anw, at night when he got home (12-1 a.m as usual), he asked me to come from my father's place. When I asked him what MP3 he bought, he told me was an IPOD! Super-duper shocked! then I took it out from the plastic bag & I gazed at it like it's ''my precious''. I was really very touched by this. Seriously. I love it so much coz I really love music & I used this Ipod A LOT! everyday (almost). Hehe. It's like my best pal, it accompany me when I'm bored, console me when I'm sad, energize me when I'm sleepy, brighten my day when it's gloomy. The thing is, I'll never buy it myself. For those who know me will know why. Haha.. =D

6. Pink Baby-G and Purple Casio.

I love both of them equally. The Baby-G is bought for me by my mom before I go to Sg in 1997. So it's been with me with me for 11 years! There was
once I actually DROPPED it in Siloso beach at night and I realised I dropped it when I was waiting for the shuttle bus back to Sg!! Super panick! Then my friend, (in honor of him I wrote this story btw) S, so kindly accompany me back to the beach, which was FAR! We ran and retrieved it, was so relieved. Seriously don't know how I'll live if I lost it then! =D It's fate with me was not finish I guess. =p

The Casio watch was give by my mom's friend at 2002 I guess. It's so nice, I love it. Seriously, I'm really attached to all of these things. =)

7. My BLANKET!!! =P Save the No. 7 for this most important piece of cloth ever made in the world. Well, I'm exaggerating I guess. But I can't sleep without it! It's my security blanket. It was once my mom's, she got it when our family when to Bali for holiday. I don't know how it became mine and how it unconscioulsy turn into my sleeping pill. =p Yeah, it's so cute yeah? Love it Love it.!

8. ROXY backpack!

As clear as yesterday, I remember it was given to me on 2nd Oct 2004. =D My Sec 3 B'day gift from 2 of my beloved friends E & N.! I remember N gave me 周杰伦's 七里香 CD too! It was so touching =). I love this bag. Been using it till JC! Now too. Recently when I met D with V in Nvn Mrt, I was using this bag and he was saying, ''I've seen you using this bag since aeons ago..'' >_<

I guess that's all for now.. So what you think of my fav things? =)

Favourite Things..

1. My Elegant 8250. =)
This is my baby, hehe.
He's so precious to me as he has been with me for 5 years. ! Older than some of my friendship.
Origin, from my eldest brother in 2002 when he's in Sg. I love my brother which has been MIA for a long LONG time. Bro, I miss you... It's weird and not right not seeing/ hearing from you for 3 years?! =( When I see this phone, it reminds me of him somehow. =) That's maybe why I love it so much!!

2. My LOvely Sandals.!

I vividly remember buying this pair of sandal at HMV with my long lost friend N. Hehe.. Yeap, I remember I was wearing this unbearable pair of sandals and so I decided to buy a pair and wera it straight away. N was the one who recommend this to me. & Hey!! It's really comfortable and durable as it has been 4 years old! Hehe, bought it sometime in 2004 when I'm in sec 3. =) I miss you too N.

3. It's NOT for sale!! was kidding. =p (As if there's an interested buyer.)


Okay, item no.3. Elle wallet given by J on 2nd Oct 2004! Probably the most expensive gift I've ever received. Haha. We were such good friends, he was sitting behind me. I was always disturbing him, talking to him. Then we'd play GB together too =). Ahhh, miss youuuuuuu too J!! >.< Anw, this was given for my b'day. Priceless sentimental value. I love it. Even when it's worn out now, I love it more. =D

okayyy... to be continued... =)

Today....

...was a happy day for a change. I feel happy somehow. =p
I'm crazy? Maybe. But all I do today was chat with many people.
In the world of Sims, my social must be all red. SO, after talking with people, my social status became green!
"Ha! But I havent' tell you what's making me this happy!!

2 things.
1. Lalala, I get acquainted again with somebody from the past.
It's always fun at the beginning.
Though I knw, soon the other party will be bored and I'll be depressed again.
Well, even so, I just want to savour the moment as I'm so happy to chat with him today!!

2. Well, this kind of a guilty pleasure. Hehe, call me cruel, call me bad, I still feel happy.
After feeling crappy for my appearance, that is me being fat and ugly, this is the first time I'm
getting motivated. You see, my ex, let's call him X. He got a new girlfriend.
That doesn't bother me until someone told me she's good looking.
Some might ask why this bothers me. This shows you don't know me well enough.
I have this competitive nature that I have to be better off than others to feel happy.
That explains why I want to be better than X's new girl.
Anw, not to digress, I saw X's girl picture in friendster and I have to admit she's quite
nice looking. I felt depressed because of that as I feel inferior to her.
THen, this afternoon I happen to talk to X and he was insulting me FAT while saying his girl is
thin and pretty bla bla bla... ANW, he showed pic of him taken in the studio with his parents
& GF. Hey, from far, she's pretty, as he put it in his display pic.
BUt, Hey hey, when he sent me the pic. OH myyyy.... well, the rest can be guessed right?
She don't look nice. I cannot go as far as to say that I'm better. I know I'm not good-looking.
But well, I know I'm being very bad. But it can't be helped. =) This is the evil side of me yeah..

Next, today, X was so obnoxious. He was all about, '' a lot of ppl say I'm handsome in this pic,'' when I told him he look weird (totally true & a nice way to say he's UG**). Another evil inside me unleashed. Haha. Anw, and his other reply was, '' Huh? Really? I think I'm getting fairer and more handsome. '' *Puke. So I told him that my cousin keep asking why I was with him. And I told him the truth, that I was wrong, I regretted it. It's time that cannot be retrieved man. He caused so much trouble. I also don't like that he unleashes the ugly side of me like now. I think it's because deep down I have this feeling of hate towards him as I never really like him. His persistent and almost forcing way is what makes me agree to being with him. What a mistake I have to live with for the rest of my life. Sigh** >_<

Anw, enough about him.
GTG. Simpsons ROck!!

I'm the Fool. *(always the case)

See this 4 pages picture to my right? Can you guess what's the content? Hehe. It's cramped with sms that i painstakingly taken the time to write down. Btw, there were another stack, about this { } thick written on loose leaf paper that i have thrown away. Same fate goes to these pages, i took it b4 i throw it away.

I was really, REALLY, REALLY dumb to have wasted my time and effort doing that. Haha. That's why i took the pic, to remind me of my stupidity and so that i will never make the same mistake again, EVER! >_<

On a different note/guy, i am really upset right now.
I'm hurt, by his doing, by his words, by the memories...
But most of all i'm so upset by my own stupidity, by letting someone so easily in.
It's the same old story, girl likes boy, boy shows interest, give girl hopes, then..
BAM!!!!!
Boy leaves with others without any explanation to the girl.
Girl left alone, feeling stupid.

I'm the Fool!!!!
Sigh..................
And i know, that most probably history's gonna repeat itself yet again.
Maybe this is some kind of curse that i have been bestowed.

Maybe, just maybe, this will end? =(

Over You.

This is a statement I want to tell you. I was naive to be bought by your sweet words.
In the end I'm played by you.
I can't believe I was that dumb.
I can't believe I didn't see it coming.
The worse is that I still think those times were sweet memories given how things ended.
How things ended..
Well, ironically you were the one who started it all when I have no feelings for you, and yet you were the one who ended things when I started to feel something. I felt so cheated by your lies.
But hey, it's over. Over you.

Everybody Loves To Hate. (Me too!)

I hate the present.

I love the past.

I am scared of the future.



Presently, I am not happy with my life.

In the past, I am happy with my life.

Towards the future, I am unsure how my life's going to unravel.



I miss you, my old self in the past.



I am happiest in my Sec Schl years. Ofcourse I have my difficulties just like any normal teens, I have times when going to school was not by choice. I have problems with friends before. But Never, NEVER have I given up on myself because of it / worse, hating myself.



But that's exactly how I am feeling.
Inadequate.
Hopeless.
Empty.
How am I suppose to pick myself up?

Friends are all I have left. But where are they?
Those closest to me are the greatest disappointment. I wouldn't feel sad if my casual friends don't bother about me. But my closest friends, those I would give everything if they need me, where are they? They might be physically here, but inside I know they don't care. Actually, they were never around no more.

I really can't describe how they let me down. It's not my place to judge. I don't want to be called ungrateful. Yes, I am thankful that they still ask occasionally. But to help/ just to care, no. This make me helpless. This is what makes me wanna leave.

Oh gosh, I really wanna leave. I hate this.
All of this.

Please end this.