RECESS BABY!!!!!

CAs finally done for this week. Not as smooth yet what's done is done, don't want to dwell on what could've been..

Many new songs that I love recently..
Been listening to songs a lot..
Before I sleep yesterday I was lying on my bed, leaning my legs against the wall as usual..
Plugging in my earphone with isolation, and pressed play..
It's as if I can understand how people say the world melts away..
It's only me and my thoughts and One Republic..
Listening to All We Are for the zillionth time, I love that song so much..
It's the lyric, so meaningful..
It's the opening melody from the piano that get me into the song..
And it's the beat of the drum that got me so addicted..
The voice and the arrangement makes it complete...

"Real life is complexity wearing a mask of simplicity"

CA week got me panicky again. Trying to keep my cool but as usual I need effort to keep my emotions intact. 1 more day of CA tmrw.. I need to go back so badly, I miss my room so much, and bathroom. Plans are forming in my head for the 7 days...

1, I want to eat so much food there gonna come back bloated )'.'( . Sick of eating here and alone too. I want to eat with daddy =). Don't care if I put on 7kg in 7days. =p

2, I wanna drive, most probably to the swimming complex as usual, I want to swim. I can't believe how much I love swimming now. Used to hate it.

3, I need to study for the CAs after recess. The sound of studying in the comfort of my home should be fun ^_^.

Many more things but I guess there's not enough time, I want to relax as much in my lovely home. Watch sunset everyday. Some reflection time too..

Been listening to radio a lot these days. Miss the days I do this from sec schl till JC. Sometimes the songs suck when there's just those rap songs and hiphop all the way.. There're many nice songs now though which I don't know the titles to but that's alright coz as usual, 987 will play these few songs everyday for don't know how long. Start to love Electronic Pop music. HAHA, all thanks to LAdy GAGa.

"Cold and frosty morning, there's not a lot to say, about the things caught in my mind... And as the day was dawning, my plane flew away, with all the things caught in my mind.."

A lonely day.

"Cause you're hot and then you're cold..."
Weather's playing me just as life has, like a toy.. Am I that fun?


"I hate the world today
You're so good to me I know but I can't change.
I tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe i'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet

Yesterday I cried,
Must've been relieved to see a softer side
I can understand how you would be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one..."

The perfect morning of rain and cool air. It goes as fast as it came, I knew it!! It's bright again and soon, hot. In this type of weather, I suddenly crave for this song..


I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong
Black and white didn't fit you and all along
You were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything
That I need just to make it and I can see that

Lord knows I've failed you, time and again
But you and me are all right

We won't say our goodbyes
You know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change
All we are is everything that's right
All we need, a lover's alibi

I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would've fit
I figured there's nothing to lose, I need to get
Some perspective on these words before I write them down
You're an island and my ship has run aground

Every single day that I can breathe
You changed my philosophy
I'm never gonna let you pass me by.

--All We Are.

Loves quiet and empty library.

I have overcome yet another week of gruelling Tuesday. It's officially the worst Tuesday I endured with the additional cramps I have the whole day. Today it's getting better, hopefully I can recover totally soon. Anyway, nothing much in my mundane life. Just getting on by while feeling like I didn't accomplish anything at the end of a tiring day. That's bad right?
Have to prepare for the 3 CAs next week and I feel really pressurised by those around me who's been mugging so hard while I'm slacking all the while with my prison break.

I'm hanging on to the thought of 28th. That's what's keeping me going. I can stand this pain, this heat, all for the thought that just another week I can have my week-long getaway. Imagine if I'm not going back? I don't think I will survive, serious. People can say I'm wasting my money for the air ticket, or again with the "you're so rich.." but whatever. I guess I'm going to hear that again when I live outside. It's like I'm guilty for spending money and that's why I'm stingy sometimes. The problem is what others say will be taken to heart. I can't ignore those comments lightly. It's really the top of my resolution to stop caring about others, seriously, be a little more selfish and ignorant!!!

Anyway, I'm going back soon, 12 more days. Yet CAs in 6days. Oh no~.

sick of everything..

Life ain't a bed of roses.
I feel down so many thousand times before and what makes this time different than the last?
It's the known unknown.
I kind of know that there is a reason for this feeling yet I can't pin point the answer.
It's so frustrating.

On a completely different note...
With people, I'm always trying to be nice. Or at least I thought so.
Never seem that it's ever enough. I tried my best but I slip up.
But I made progress in the things I said I'll change.
I did not break meeting with friends over invalid reasons like I used to...
I tried to keep my mood up when I'm with them though I find it kind of hard to hide my emotions at times (that's why I'm never going to be an actress).
I never gave the cold shouder and I never really vent my anger on people..
and I'm really sick of ppl coming in and out of my life as they please. 2nd time I'm saying this.

I feel like I'm trapped in my way of life...
I felt guilty going out coz it means I'm not studying, yet if I never go out, more often than not I will not study too. I'll spend my time watching dramas or doing unproductive activities. Mostly I eat when I'm bored. Then I will get angry with myself. Torturing myself over my diet. It's so hard to control, sometimes I'm gorging myself, other times I'm starving myself.

Anyway, my feet hurts from walking, or is it sore? I just pity my legs, so many scars and have to carry such a heavy burden..

Lastly, I wish ppl can be more understanding, especially on stuff. Some things are more important to others which I deem not worth, yet some things are worth to me more than to others. I will respect ur values if u'll respect mine. I admit I'm kind of brand oriented on certain stuff. I'm VERY picky. Don't call me extravagant coz I do save on other stuff too. It's not as if I'm living a tai-tai's life. I HATE it when ppl keep saying "rich girl, you so rich, rich blablablabla...". STOP it. I'm NOT rich and even if so, why do I have to feel embarrassed just bcoz I have? Shouldn't it be the opposite?

Week 5.

Can't sleep. Can't sleep. Can't sleep. I want to sleep. Why do I always have difficulty sleeping here. Almost everyday I must lie down don't know how long to fall asleep and the having to force myself to get up in the morning? I want my dark, cool room with the extra huge bed just for my gigantic body.!!!

Not even a week...

..that I've not gone online, it felt like ages. And many ppl been asking me "haven't seen you online for centuries.." etc... It felt good for that people notice my ''disappearance'' (only few days actually) but it's not because I'm looking for sensation that I haven't been active in FB and come online. It's just I'm in one of those mood where I just want to rest from the virtual world for a while. But in real life I welcome friends. SMS and phonecalls or meeting is still alright. Just that I don't want to be addicted to internet that's all. So, that explains why I'm away. But now I'm online anyway. Haha, couldn't last a week. =p

Worried about my home when I heard about the quake. Just had a phone call with dad and he said there were some damages in my house.. But only a little.

These few days I've also been quite sick. Sore throat's killing me and accompanied by headache. Being here, I have no rest though. Days as per usual. I still have to do my laundry, clean my room, attend neverending classes and find my own meals. But I find it difficult to find a soothing food for my throat. Which is probably why it hurts too, coz I've been eating unhealthy food here. SO craving for soup.. Soupy soup... More homesick than ever now that I need to rest.. My eldorado.. ='(

Haven't exercise for so long too. Hiks2. >_<

I hope it gets better soon.= )