RUNNING AWAY.

Been running away from reality physically and mentally..

Just want to dissolve into anything that takes my mind of this sem..

FYP FYP FYP, go away... far far away..

But I can't say that anymore..

Coz the farther I run, the longer distance I have to run back..

I need to muster every ounce of self-discipline and make use of this recess to catch up!

MUST!!! MUST!!! MUST!!!

I'd be lying if I'm used to this..

The absence of your presence..

I know I'm unreasonable if I'm requesting everything to be as it was..

But I'd be lying if I said I don't miss you..

I want to say it to you, just to let you know, but it'll only do any worse than the awkward now..

And by saying that, I'm sure I'll be hurting others too..

So it's no use..

Sometimes I want to pick up my phone to say hi and talk random things, like how we used to..

Being irritated by your arrogance, by your ignorance to my feelings..

That too, I miss..

The teasing, the stupid jokes...

Friendship or whatever that was, doesn't stop overnight..

Listened to a song that I like yesterday while running through the radio..

I know it's going to be my favorite for a while..

The lyric goes..

"I went to a wishing well, I sank to the ocean floor..

Cut up by sharper rocks, and washed up along the shore..
I reached for a shooting star, it burned a hole through my hand..
Made its way through my heart, had fun in the promised land.."

Anw, it's Valentine's! I went to donate blood and failed. so sad. =(

I thought it's the last time I'll donate in NTU..

Overall I failed 3/4 times trying to donate blood. sobs.

I'm sick of FYP..

If there's a game called "Kill your FYP", I will be glad to play it..

Shoot all the FYP!!!! DIE FYP, DIEE!!!

I hate it..... I hate my project, I hate the report..

And I hate how it's ruining my last semester! GAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! >_<

I think that as you grow older, you start to let go of your ideals..

It's one of the things that makes you grow up..

The idea of a "perfect life" and of a "happily ever after" are for kids..

And they had such thoughts because the adults are trying to shield them from the harsh reality..

I guess I was very protected as a child..

I listen to a lot of bedtime stories, and watched a lot of Disney cartoons..

I formed happy thought and wished to fly like any other daydreaming kid my age..

Then I was left alone and it's all shattered..

I don't know when, but there was a specific moment when I just stop believing..

I started accepting that this world ain't the pretty pictures I imagine when I was a kid..

People aren't nice, people are selfish..

And I start to hate myself at times like this..

Where everything seems to be wrong and nothing can go right from here..

And it's time like this that makes me wish I could fall asleep and never wake up..

Or wishing I never exist in the first place and even questioning the point of my existence..

It's time like this that makes me feel like giving up..

Coz everything seems pointless..

And all the effort I have put in seems to be at a thread, and I hate trying to balance myself without falling down..

I need to get ready and stop having high expectation.

Prepare myself to be disappointed and stop feeling this way.

Time really FLIESSSSS..

Week 4 has come and gone.. and I have 3 CAs next week. T_T

Time to buck up buck up!!!!

FYP sucks, waste of my time! I hate it! >_<

Before recess I want to end it if I can..

By this rate I think I can't though. =(

How do I get back to my routine of studying?

Distractions and temptations are too strong this sem..

I worry about my yearbook photos too!

I haven't seen any of it and I don't want any unglam shots! =S

Haven't start listening to radio again..

Haven't been staying in my room a lot too..

Week 5, be Good to me please!