She

She's twenty with no sense of purpose nor direction in life. Living in the past filled with regrets of what could've been. She knows worrying about the future makes her present unsavoury, yet she can't help it.

Life's too short to enjoy and too long to suffer. Constantly wishing she'd die by the age of 40 as she didn't want to live after her youth is gone. Yet her teenage years are gone. What has she achieved in life? Others has joined National Science Competitions, other are champion in sports, and some has succeed in the real world and carved out careers outside school. "What about me?" She asked? Feeling that she has been living her life in vain. Her achievements are nothing compared to the others. Perpetually inadequate and incompetent, that's how she felt most of her days.



Stepping into the light away from darkness, that's what she has been trying to do. Constantly complaining of her predicament, she knows blaming Mother nature will not make the situation better, yet she felt comforted that there is someone to be held responsible for the many unfairness she experienced in life.



Now that her first Semester is done, it's time for reflections. She knows she hasn't really fulfilled her resolutions before going in to U. She planned to study hard, do well, just like how she started JC. She thought she could, but she's having too much fun making friends as JC2 has taught her that really, no man/woman is an island. In the midst of having fun, she forgot to catch up with school work and instead get reaquainted with an old friend; Procrastination. Yesh, procrastinating, coz it's just so damn hard to start. But once she did start, she found the passion of studying again, it reminded her of Sec1...



One fine day in Sec 1(either a Sunday or Saturday), she remembered vividly she was waiting for MRT with A at the platform. She was asking him what homework they had for the weekend. He was the monitor and an obedient student then, so he refused to let her copy when she asked him. Looking back at how lazy she was, she was embarrassed of course. But that day changed her life (academically). She remembered exactly what he said to her, " It's not that you're lazy, is you don't want to try." Yesh, it was this particular sentence that make her start studying. Her whole life till primary, she never care about school work, just taking it easy. But from that day, she started caring about her school work, her grades. So from an average student with mostly 60, she rose up, taking in mind the motivation to beat him. Came the end of year and she beat him! She got Best Progress Award. She was so happy, she found the pride in doing well in school. Before you think that it's all good, remember that since then, she became ''kiasu'' AND '' gan-chiong''. Remember that she was once a laid-back and ''bo-chap'' student. So is it a bane or boon?