Sem3

Back, at last. From Tuesday up till now, many things have happened. Had a killer day on Tues; reaching at 9am, moving my things, 1hr lect + 3hrs lab. Somehow I prefer this than coming back on saturday. Yes, this is how much I detest NTU. So much, and intensified now that I'm back.

My dreams are gone, my spirit is broken. Aimlessly going through this life. First week's already been stressful. What with me thinking of taking 23AUs + EID, life's gonna be hell. And the thought I can't even go back for recess, my misery is officially complete. But I think I got to try. I may fail, but I don't care anymore. I'm just finishing what I've started. Shouldn't have started here.

Mistakes. I'm not perfect, never was, never will. I made many wrong moves, I'm never innocent though I wish I am. I've hurt many people and maybe karma's coming to find me. Some intentional and some by accident, I have not cared about those around me. My mom taught me, when you're angry at someone, you hate that person for his/her doing, think of the good things. There must be a positive if that person's ever a friend to you. And so I took her advice, and felt that because of a single thing, I forgot the million nice things you've done for me.

Past. Let's call him S. It was never that serious, he never made that much of an impact. When I saw him again, I felt hatred, really deep hatred towards him. Somehow, I feel that I'm toyed, that's one. Second, I feel that he doesn't feel a hint of remorse for what he's done to me. I don't like him. It's true, but the way he treated me was unacceptable for me. I think of the good things he's done. But for this, only for this, I can't seem to cast that hatred. I feel like slapping him, scolding him and telling him what a !@#$$$ he is. I didn't know I have that much anger in me.

Conclusion. Ntu had me stressed, made me cried million of tears and many of the people here hurt me. From P, that condemns me, another person that treats me like crap, to F who I thought was a gd fren but has sometime make me angry... until S, the worst case. In the place I need support, I face ppl who brings me down. Maybe I'm oversensitive... yet I can't not feel hurt. I know I'm going to be numb soon,