sick of everything..

Life ain't a bed of roses.
I feel down so many thousand times before and what makes this time different than the last?
It's the known unknown.
I kind of know that there is a reason for this feeling yet I can't pin point the answer.
It's so frustrating.

On a completely different note...
With people, I'm always trying to be nice. Or at least I thought so.
Never seem that it's ever enough. I tried my best but I slip up.
But I made progress in the things I said I'll change.
I did not break meeting with friends over invalid reasons like I used to...
I tried to keep my mood up when I'm with them though I find it kind of hard to hide my emotions at times (that's why I'm never going to be an actress).
I never gave the cold shouder and I never really vent my anger on people..
and I'm really sick of ppl coming in and out of my life as they please. 2nd time I'm saying this.

I feel like I'm trapped in my way of life...
I felt guilty going out coz it means I'm not studying, yet if I never go out, more often than not I will not study too. I'll spend my time watching dramas or doing unproductive activities. Mostly I eat when I'm bored. Then I will get angry with myself. Torturing myself over my diet. It's so hard to control, sometimes I'm gorging myself, other times I'm starving myself.

Anyway, my feet hurts from walking, or is it sore? I just pity my legs, so many scars and have to carry such a heavy burden..

Lastly, I wish ppl can be more understanding, especially on stuff. Some things are more important to others which I deem not worth, yet some things are worth to me more than to others. I will respect ur values if u'll respect mine. I admit I'm kind of brand oriented on certain stuff. I'm VERY picky. Don't call me extravagant coz I do save on other stuff too. It's not as if I'm living a tai-tai's life. I HATE it when ppl keep saying "rich girl, you so rich, rich blablablabla...". STOP it. I'm NOT rich and even if so, why do I have to feel embarrassed just bcoz I have? Shouldn't it be the opposite?