the song that's stuck in my head...

super tired today.
9.30: sms hans i'm up but let me bath first.
10.00: hans called, i'm still lying in bed. forced myself up.
10.30:continue watching "watchmen" while gorging myself on food.
12.00:sms hans say i wanna finish the movie so will be leaving house late.
12.30:finish watching and on my way to IP.
13.30:i'm early, walked around.
13.50:hans arrived, walked around the mall, drink bubble tea, he drank minute maid.
15.30:went to Pascal Hyper Square, walked around, he bought a swimming pants and t-shirt, I bought a short pants for run.
16.00:met intan at happypuppy for a session of karaoke. iren and raymond was there. drank lemon tea till bloated >_<
19.00:daniel fetched me for dinner. wanted to eat at some steak place but road was blocked due to exploding vehicle. it was flaming and it's quite shocking. in the end we just went PVJ and ate jap, we both feels like we're at can A. wth. anw, i ate ramen, same as him.
20.45:watched avatar. went in a bit late. missed the front part a little. was an ok movie, don't know what's the big deal that everyone loves it to death. i just don't see it.
23.30:movie ends, a little worried i go home too late.
23.45:reach home. no trafiic!!!
00.15:daniel went home after using my internet for a while.
00.30:on msn, bathe, then went off after bathe coz dad called.
01.15:cooked noodle for dad and here i am.

was planning to wake up early tmrw morning to swim but i think cnt, i'm so dead tired.
plus hans is coming tmrw morning(don't know his definition of morning) to wrap the present. yepp, christmas present exchange and ci anny's house tommorow.. huhuw, haven't exercise in a week, can feel the fats depositing on all parts of my body. gulp.

lotsa things on my mind. i do miss u a little after hearing about the incident. maybe it's pity, but i can't even look you in the eyes. i don't know if you look at me but i kind of wish i had enough courage to look at you in the eye and see what reaction you give. i did blame you wholeheartedly, i hated you thoroughly. but i guess it's my stupidity that brought us to this point. i realise it's unfair to think of me as a victim; it takes two to tango. yet as i discover more lies you told me, i only blame myself for being so gullible...

will you ever talk to him again?

i did think that i never want to have anything to do with him anymore.
but now i guess it's up to him...
i'll always be here for a listening ear, a helping hand.

---saturday wedding---
there's a first time for everything...
friday is pure bliss. come saturday and i'm mixed up messed up.
my brother and his gf pissed me off.
my ex were both there at the wedding.
i felt cinderella-like till the clock struck twelve and i'm back to reality that i'm in fact no cinderella but just a less than ordinary girl...
don't want that night to end...
or at least let it end without me in tears. again.
but oh well...
all good thing comes to an end.

expectation. disappointments.

songs that broke my heart, that make that sadness lingers as if it were yesterday. just in the mood to mourn now that xmas and new year's around the corner. so much pent up emotions, so much memories i try to forget. so much scars that's yet to heal. so much what ifs.

如果你想忘记我也能失忆。