另一个失败。

I started the day with only one thought; let's get this over and done with.
It ended not so well as I couldn't keep my calm..
Anyway, feelings, sometimes I could make do without them.
I just feel so... AGHHH!!!

Tech comm oral presentation was very bad, I was so upset when I saw that evaluation form but I told myself forget it!
What's done it's done - get out, go out!!
Even when part of me just want to curl up in my room and sulk, I went out of ntu out of JP the whole day and I felt liberated!! It felt so long since I went out!!
This should be the way to spend after exam...
Eat nice food, watch a movie and walk around.

But this time at the back of my relaxed mind is the disappointment trying to prod its way back to the centre of my mind. Next is guilt trying to keep me from enjoying myself..

I came back at 11plus.
I called dad and it started with me trying to sound happy about my time out but it ended with me crying yet again to tell him all about my feelings.

I felt I have tried so hard, but I guess it ain't hard enough.

I let myself cry, always, but I always wipe it away, and pull myself together.
Let it be my way of getting through some difficult days and I hope people will stop judging me about it.
I am strong in my weakness and even if noone sees it, I know I am.

I'll tear my heart apart with all my imagination and cry as if there's no tomorrow, but the next day I'll be ok and I'll be fine.

I'm fighting the fear inside me and I will conquer it!