"Take what you want fom me... It means nothing now, take everything..."

Just like a blink of the eye it is the 14th of January, just a week left of my precious holiday...
It's my brother's birthday today and I was hoping to do something and give him something but I just can't find anything at all..

This anhedonic period has stretched for quite a long time..
3 weeks and I will be in danger of being diagnosed as depressed.

I want to travel but I never quite made it there.
And now life has lost it sparks..
I regret the 42km and I feel like backing out from it..
I don't want to go for IA, don't want to travel so far everyday..
I don't want I don't want I don't want..
There's nothing I want..
I don't want to shop, I don't want to eat, I don't want to do anything and I don't know why...