Should I or should I not..?

Should I take another leap of faith just a mere 2 months away from the event?
>_< HOW??
I want to but I don't know if I am capable..
What happen to the confidence I once have 2 years ago?
The determination to do something that I myself am not even sure I am able to accomplish..

I guess when I saw the route was not going to be in Changi, and it looks interesting...
That initiates my desire to run again.. =p

I got nostalgic thinking about 2 years ago when I first start to prepare for it..
Got abandoned by my friend who PROMISED to train together..
That selfish prick..
Luckily, I got to know 2 amazing guys through him..
One of them who came to NTU to help me train even though he himself is not joining..
So thankful at times at how things unravel..
Although at that point it seemed so stressful..

Just like now.. At work, at life, at everything..
I'm trying to persevere day by day..
I feel like an outlier at work..
An anomaly..
What was once a happy news to be accepted in HP, now it sounded like a wrong call..
After knowing that my team mates all have bad grades..
I feel like a trash picked up from the rubbish bin by my Boss..
No longer felt the pride of being hired by an MNC..
IT IS ALL A LIE!!!
DON'T TRUST THE SYSTEM!
I really feel like throwing things on the ground these days..
ARGH!